Contains sexual content 18+ only
Somehow we began trading stories of tragedy and violence. “How did you get Post-traumatic stress?” “Got king hit in Melbourne?” She nodded while continuing to eat bread with odd sips of wine. “Well…some Meth’d up Melbourne clubber in Paran coming down… He had a major comedown off Meth barney at my expense… But apparently I was asking for it.” “So how did you end up in such a time and place?” “All I remember was walking down Punt road, which by the way is a fucking long walk… and this guy said something from across the road… I kind of fell into the whole drunken, yeah whatever…Fuck off kind of gesture then he ran over. Everything flashed blank, I tried to swing back then No pain, no sound. Apparently I was dead but I woke up when confronted. I saw the light battens in the hospital triage to find that blood drenched my clothes ... .That's about the extent of the memory.” Crystal cringed. “It took me ages to actually trust going in public and being friendly with people, from the stress?” “Didn’t anyone call the cops?” “Nah it was some strange friend that walked me a couple of kilometers to the hospital, which was luckily just around the corner. The weird thing is that now I have lost my sense of smell, the doctor said the olfactory nerve had snapped when my skull cracked.” I shrugged. “Really.” Crystal stopped chewing for a second. “…The neurologist said at the final check up and final release.” Crystal shrugged. “Lucky you’re not a Chef?” “What a prick. Did they catch the guy who hit you?” “Everything that could go wrong did go wrong …the 711 CCTV nearby was taped over, It gets worse “Anyway…a bill for two hundred dollars and three years on…Here I am.” I tried to change the focus, feeling the hate and cynicism grind into my jaw. “How did you get your scar on your eyebrow? If you don’t mind?” “I drunkenly fell down two flights of stairs at a nightclub and split my face open… Yeah I didn’t feel a thing. My boyfriend, at the time, Cody sat next to me until the paramedics turned up. He just kept saying ‘I’ll stay with you it doesn’t matter how you look? That’s all I remember.” “Wow. People do strange things when confronted with tragedy.” “Yeah…it healed up well tho, but I wished it wasn’t on my face.” “Same… Anyway, scars are cool.” “I don’t know about that?” “Me too.” I drank a glass of Rosé for the first time realizing I had lost my previous infinite tolerance to alcohol as it spun straight to my head. She continued to speak of her Hippy upbringing and rebellious adventures. Her stories as a teenage runaway had more sex, drugs and danger. She’d done everything from traveling with a circus troupe through the country towns, becoming a Go-Go dancer, and working in crazy bars across the southern states, living in factories with Squatter artists and actors. “This bread is amazing.” Crystal chewed on handfuls from the loaf. “It’s Wood oven loaf made by a backyard Baker.” A few Grey nomads walked passed, taking obvious wide berth to avoid our odd choice of picnic area next to the arsenic green Gazebo. Crystal ducked her shoulder, taking a coy glance and somehow by just posing her hand against her neck and tucking her wine glass against her breast, issued a sign of dissent that warded off the lonely aged tourists quicker than a ‘Fuck-off’. She moved back to face me oblivious to her character’s imposing change. “Kiss me here.” Her slender petite fingers pointed to the nape of her neck as she closed her eyes bearing into the cold grey sky. I kissed her neck gently. “Now here.” Her finger rested on her cheeks soft complexion. I kissed her cheek, feeling the warmth of her breath, our lips met for the first time, my heart deeply washing with that something I felt deeply about her. I pulled away slightly and hugged her deeply trying to breath without seeming too nervous. We took a moment to smile at each other and resumed eating the remaining bread. “Yeah its nice…you know this is my first drink in six months?” “Really?” “Yeah I have completely given up Alcohol and Cigarettes.” “Wow… I can’t go one weekend without drinking…Anyway is it okay if we go home? I’m getting cold.” “Sure.” The sky grey covered with no sign of sunset across the tidal flats, so we packed and drove back into the drab packed brick wallpaper veneer suburban wasteland. Winter sun is cooling as the afternoon sea breeze pushes violently through the car's old vents. For the first time I felt quite tipsy after not drinking for so long I was lost to traverse the next moments. “So are you going to show me your house?” She said, “Sure.” We drove back up the corkscrew road soon pulled into the winding bitumen goat tracks shrouded in eucalypt above the close knit houses verging on the rail line. The Gravel crunched beneath the old cars tyres. The weatherboard light blue hovel surrounded with neglected pot-plants and fallen purple Jacaranda blossoms layering the descending gravel backyard. Crystal followed my lead from the rusty carport back to the dim sky blue 1960’s prefab homette. “Wow?” She appeared surprised at my lack of anything. I quickly tried to deflect her view to various attempts of painting, music and home recording. She seemed disinterested, pushing me backwards into an old yellow vinyl smoking chair, mounted my lap and kissed me ravenously. She sat upright trying to get comfortable “You live like this? … It's very minimal.”I was neither embarrassed nor ashamed of the two chairs table, potted prayer plant and old esky that appeared more well defined. “This is as good as it gets…It’s how I like living.” I was taken by her sexual desire we kissed but the obvious discomfort was too much. I was without the usual months of courting, dinners, rejections, distance and mind games, I couldn’t quite fathom her passion. Maybe I was just a quick fuck? Rebound? Why did I feel numb and out of control at the same time? “Let's go to the sleep-out.” I unplugged the bar heater and wheeled it through a flaky paint beige door into the bedroom, the floor sloping from age towards the terraced backyard through old wind battered windows. Crystal took a minute to appreciate a mattress placed on the ground with scattered rugs and some cheap paintings on cardboard taped to the wall.
“I’d live with less if it was possible.” Shrugging knowing it was little consolation to the lack of comfort provided. Come sit next to me.” I sat side by side, she turned on the heater and warmed her hands. I kissed her neck as it had begun, each passionate movement. I lay on the ground next to her feeling the chill of the clear sky creep through the rotting windows frames. She removed her top as our sexual glazed retina’s channeled each other to somewhere deeper than I’d ever known. Crystal dipped her body to compliment my arm propped towards her. Each breast sat pert against her defined ribs and petite frame. Embraced her cold skin warming to my body heat, kissing along the nape and line, tasting each breath of supple skin raised with cold gooseflesh glowing in the radiator's blood orange glow. She pushed me back against the pillow and removed my pants, kneeling between my legs, scraping her nipple across my balls, shifting to kiss my shaft and envelope the light soft skin of her mouth and tongue against the head, carefully allowing her saliva to dry in the cold air. I tasted my body while we kissed, merely grasping each other’s anticipation of the remaining chain of clothes. I lifted her in a single turn, placing her ass on the pillow at the top of the mattress pillow. Her skin-tight purple jeans crumpled at our feet. I placed my head between her legs and tasted her warmth until her breath began to deepen with each movement, my tongue working deeply into her warm moist come. “Have you got a…?” I ran to the bathroom finding a couple of old rubbers from a lost desperate year of lustful hope. Crystal grasped the condom neatly centered in the square blue satchel. Taking my position on the Swag, she quickly tore at the package to slide it onto my penis with her lips, then maneuvered her legs over into that tight moment of first insertion, her hands pulled at the back of my neck to another kiss, while a numb intensity began to double, stroking slowly, maintaining that connection with her eyes as she began to deepen her body, grinding harder against mine. Crystal released her grip and pushed me back while straddling deeply on my cock, her lower body glowing in the heaters. The movements were controlled as I felt her breasts and her hands pushed from my abdomen, each finger spreading across her stomach, torso up around my neck. She began to choke me her light hands holding my Adams apple, her pubic hair grinding and burning in each hard stroke rocking her hips deeper into my lower abdomen, her head raised up eyes into another realm, fingers released from my neck, splayed across my belly, heaving each breath in release of the last forceful grinds into me. UH.. UH.. UH.. UH… UH.. UUUUUH! The sound of her orgasm continued, at an intense pitch. I felt the inner walls of her pussy flexing and pushing against my shaft in differing intervals of quick intense movements. Her hands ripped nails and released as each spasm became residual into an eventual slump of shoulders and solemn shuddering satisfaction across her face. Tiny shivers transferred into the heat across her chest and cheeks contrasting the darkening sky blue chill of the room. Crystal took a minute to pull back her eyes into my focus from some outer realm. “Did you come?” She swayed from my cock lifting her hips up. “I dunno… nah I didn’t.” As she lifted the condom was nowhere to be seen. I reached down to my cock feeling moist come on my penis. The rolled base of the condom hang stuck in her. She tried to pull the rubber out with some difficulty as her pussy seemed caught in its final clasping movement. “Did that just come off then?” She pulled it out with force inspecting it for contents. It was empty “Maybe?” Crystal fell next to me too satisfied to care and snuggled on my chest with her back. “That was nice baby… Now we will now have to make you come?”“You know that is the first time I have ever been with a woman that has come while I was inside.”“You poor man, fuck you must have been with some uptight women?” “Maybe…that was beautiful the way you came.” She snuggled tighter against me, reaching down to stroke my still erect cock. We kissed, and rolled on another condom, but no position could bring me to orgasm. “It's just too intense, Babe.” I tried to reason within my head but the sense of self now felt distant, almost dead from the neck down of shock and awe to be alive in this moment right now and what it all meant was by far unimaginable. “You mean that Honey?” “Yeah of course.” We showered together, dressed, while I cooked a pizza for dinner. Crystal only ate one piece as night crawled in.
“Baby could you drop me home? I have to work at the Sandwich shop tomorrow as manager. Which is shit! But I really want to do well at this job.” I began to finish the remaining pieces of pizza. “Sure anything.” I felt invisible having traversed into the realm of a real relationship built within two weeks, both from the same background of dilapidated suburban ignorance. There was so much I wanted to ask her so much I wanted to know. Crystal began to cry.
“What’s wrong babe? Was it something I did?” “No its just… that my… it's nothing… just take me home.” I could feel her sadness. We hugged as she began to speak of the horrors of what her step-father did to her. “He used to humiliate me with his Dog…and prostitute me to his friends when I was nine…I am dead…I am completely dead inside.” I held her closer quietly, disappointed with humanity as rage and helplessness grew. “You are with me now. That is all behind you. I won't let anything happen to you!” The shattering vision of a strange coursing limp beat through my heart pulsing to the end of my fingers ever so slightly. The missing vision in the moment of seeing her truth explained, mirrored a relapse across my mind the vivid missing horrors of my own missing moment of abuse while hugging her damp face into my chest. It began to unfurl fifteen years of cold indifference into memory that I was seeing right now. It shattered through my memory. I was only ten years of age. Stuck in a small bathroom but didn’t know how I’d got there. It wasn’t home. There was blood. I was tired, the world blurred and somehow I was coming back from where? The past few hours didn’t seem to exist. I’d never felt this sore and sick. A hand threw what felt like rags at me “Clean yourself up.” The Reverends words bounced and echoed through the blur of memories a lifetime had tried to repress and forget being drugged for his fantasies to be realized. The groggy depressed feeling left a deep sadness that I had done something wrong. I shuddered back to her slowing breath and sniffing wet tears on my chest. “You really mean that babe. You will stick by me…Babe?” Crystal’s voice pulled my sense of conscious thought back into the small kitchen area.
“Its you and me versus the world babe.” We hugged just swaying, waiting for exhaustion to remove this sadness from a place we’d never been before.
“I am dead inside…I am dead….” She sobbed in to my shoulder.
“Its you and me versus the world babe.” We’d meet after Crystal had finished late shifts at the Sandwich shop she was now managing and on weekends to her new share-house and became a regular with Steve and Ursula who were a very strange but friendly Bi-couple that owned the lease on the run-down Ozzy Federation style home. It was a good time. We’d eat nice food and tell stories about that play in the West. I'd add in what happened to all the people once graduation had finished with odd anecdotes about the stupid situations I ended up in. We complimented each other with stories about crazy escapades in Melbourne, the adventures out West and being constantly stuck in Adelaide city. Crystal could talk with amazing intellect and tenacity. Which encouraged me to show a side that usually stayed gated to protect myself from the human sabotage of others. We fucked regularly she still seemed to like choking me while on top… It was a good times…I spose. The mobile woke me from the deepest dream about being overseas in some big city at night and being given directions by this short girl pointing to a train I had to catch but neither directions or trains seemed real. “Hello.” She sounded coy. “Hi babe. What’s up” “…I’m pregnant.” “Really, that’s cool.” I didn’t know how to broach Crystal’s commentary through the phone at 2am on a Sunday night.
“Look, I discussed it with Ursula and she said I should tell you…” I waited for shock or surprise, but I couldn’t feel any change from the current relationship, into fatherhood. “Don’t worry it's not yours.”
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